(on the phone): Hello, Orange County Choppers.
Customer: Hi, I bought a hat from you .
Mikey: Thank You (and hangs up the phone)
Orange County Choppers.
Customer: Is Paul there?
Mikey: Sr. or Jr. ?
Customer: is Jr there?
Customer: Nobody's in?
Customer: When will they be in today?
Mikey: (after much hesitation looks at clock) Umm, ohhh . . . oh boy. Uh, prolli around 2:25
Customer: What time is it out there?
Jay Leno: Teutul heads on deck.
Will Smith: A great ma once said, I've got to get me one of these (when he went riding on one of OCC's choppers with Sr and Jr.
Mikey, get your fat ass upstairs and find my drill bits.
Mikey: I want you to apologize for calling me fat.
Paul Sr.: I apologize for calling you fat. Now get your fat ass up there and find my f******' bits!
Ooooohhh what do we have here?!! DRILLBITS!!
Sr: Now how did those get there?"
Mikey:Ohhhhh I think its a conspiracy Dad, they were planted by the CIA!
That seat's gonna look ridiculous with just a picture of me on it.
Mikey: Well who the hell sent him a picture of just you?
Paul Jr.: It's gonna look ridiculous.
Mikey: I don't care. Every time I sit on it, I'll just... I'll fart.
Dad, I'm here to kick your ass!
Paul Sr.: Oh yeah, why me?
Mikey: 'Cuz I'm STRESSED.
a detail on the Fireman's Bike... ]
Mikey: You guys want me to hold it on there while you fight about it?
Paul Sr.: [laughing] You know why you're here? You really know? To make me laugh. That's the only reason you're here.
Mikey Ok. So, let's get this f****** bike together!
Jr: thats a tool tray!
Minus one stroke if you hit the mower
Vin: Ok, minus two if you hit him in the head
Mikey: What happens if we kill him? (about Vinnie's brother John)
"Who cut the zip tie?"
Mikey: "It was Cody!" (though it was really mikey)
Paulie: "Paging Dr.Herman!"
Paulie: "He's giving birth"
Sr: "Fire him".
Sr: "Is this going to be painful?
Sr: Why do you do stupid things like that?"
Jr: I learned it from watching you dad.
Sr: Where the heck have you been?
Jr: I was out...I had to hang this stuff.
Sr: Yeah, well get your butt in here and THEN you can hang whatever you want. You can hang....you can hang yourself!
Mikey: We were in love. It was autumn; a day much like today . . . overcast . . .
Vinnie: You can't tell me this while I'm working.
Sr: "Where'd that screw go?"
Mikey: "It's to the left."
Mikey: "I don't know."
Sr: We're on a roll code kickin ass and takin names. You don't wanna be on that list do you?
Cody (with a smile): No.
Sr: I didn't think so.
Mikey: "Dad,are we there yet?"
Sr: "Shut up,Mikey!"
Vinnie, you're fired.
Vinnie: But I still got to come to work?
Sr: You're damn right you do.
Sr: Talk is Cheap
Jr: Well, stop talking.
Sr: No, you need to stop talking and get to gettin'.
Mikey: How was your trip?
Sr:Great, alot better then being here talking to you
Vinnie: Do you want to help?
Mikey: Not really.
Sr: ay yi yi yi yi
Jr: Yah yah yah yah
Jr: Think thats true vin?
Vinnie: No comment
Jr: He just loves to complain about absolutly anything (about sr)
Vinnie: No comment
Vinnie: Where was he? (about Paulie not being at work yet)
Sr: He over slept, His alarm clock was set wrong not that he has one. He ain't been late in a week... It's ok. When he walks in, I'll give him a hug
Sr: You weren't even a twinkle in my eye..
Jr: Twinkle Dinkle Dinkle
I'm an inspiration
Jr: More like an instigation
How come you didn't know that?
Jr: Cause Daddy's smarter than us
Mikey: I knew! Does that make me smarter than you
Dad are we there yet
Sr: SHUT UP MIKEY!