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Mikey Quotes


He's like Martha Stewart on a motorcycle!!" (about his dad)

Lets fire up some english muffins and beat your dog.

Campo, we're pissed! you key hording fairy!

Rick, thanks for saving my life, if you ever need anything, ask Vinnie.

You know, everyone around here thinks my middle name is safety or something, but it's NOT, it's DANGER!!, it's Joseph.

Wheres my bike, daddy? You don't love me anymore?

Okay Vinnie, I'm gonna need a torque wrench, some vice grips, and a martini.

I go down the hill fast because I'm one of the fattest guys. Not Paulie. Ya know, twisted steel, sex appeal.

His failure as a son is your failure as a father.

I might fit on there better when we actually have to ride it because I will have lost weight, because I'm goin to the gym.

Hey Pop, think they'll let me keep the vest?

Thats my Daddy!

You know what a bike with out a kick stand is . . . it's a bike laying in the street on its side-- that's what it is!

I love it when a plan comes together!

Yeah I put that up there so they can all hate you even more! (about his dad's face with a halo on the Christmas tree)

I'm the chief fabricator and engineer . . . want an autograph?

These are the girls that broke my heart in high school. (Explaining to his dad about the two stick figure girls falling off of the bike in his drawing of what he wanted his bike to look like)

But what do I know? I just answer the phones and take out the trash.

It doesn't matter where I go, I still gotta take out the trash!

They made me put on this white suit, I feel like a huge oompalumpa.

Now I gotta go be Ed McMahon.


I've been trying to improve my status as shop idiot.

It looks like a torture device.

Tomorrow I'm going to show her how to take out the trash. (about the new secretary Lauren)

I love hanging up on people.

Breaker Breaker, Whats your 40?
Breaker Breaker, 1-9 come on in
(a few mins later)
get on in Smokey

Well at least when I get to answer the phone, I get to talk to people and when I take out the trash I get some fresh air but this was just endless (about having to sort paulies parts)

I love hanging up on people. It's my favorite

you know I'm very aware of my position in the shop, but it was still pretty humiliating to have to stand there and hold my brothers the statue of liberty.

My whole family pretty much sucks at volleyball

I got up to 27 on the down hill straightaway (about his scooter)

Definate chick magnet (about him and his scooter)

Lumber jack work is for lumber jacks I'm a lazy ass!